Intentional Motherhood: Modeling Healthy Relationships for Children
Raising Kids with Strong Values and Lasting Bonds
I've learned a thing or two about raising kids, especially after having three of my own! It’s amazing how much they watch everything we do. As mothers, we have a big job to show our children what a good, healthy relationship looks like. By being intentional in how we treat our husbands and others, we are teaching our kids important lessons every day. This is how we build a strong family with lasting bonds and pass on the values we hold dear. It all starts with us, moms, setting the right example at home.
More Than Just a Mom, I'm a Wife First
In our home, my husband and I believe that our marriage is the most important
thing. It's the foundation that our whole family is built on. When we are happy
and working together as a team, it creates a feeling of safety and peace for our
children. They can relax and just be kids because they know that mom and dad are
solid. A strong marriage isn't just for us; it's the solid ground our kids stand
on, and it makes our entire home feel stable and full of love.
Some people might think it's strange to put my marriage before my kids, but I
truly believe it's the greatest gift I can give them. By focusing on my
relationship with my husband, I'm showing my children what a healthy, committed
partnership is supposed to look like in real life. They see how a husband and
wife should love, support, and cherish one another. This is a far better lesson
than anything I could just tell them; they are learning by watching the example
we set for them every single day.
It's often the small, everyday things that teach the biggest lessons about love.
Making time for a date night, even if it's just a simple dinner at home after
the kids are asleep, shows them we value our time together. When we hold hands
while watching a movie or my husband gives me a hug in the kitchen, our children
see our affection. These simple gestures are powerful reminders to them, and to
us, that our love as husband and wife is a priority and is the heart of our
family.
Showing Respect is a Family Rule
I am very aware that my children's little eyes and ears are always watching and
listening. The way I speak to my husband sets the standard for their future
relationships. My son is learning from me how a man should speak to his wife
with kindness and appreciation. At the same time, my daughters are learning what
kind of treatment they should expect from a man who loves them. I have a huge
responsibility to model the kind of communication that I want them to have in
their own marriages someday.
In our house, good manners are not just for guests. We make a real effort to say
'please' when we ask for something and 'thank you' when we receive it, and that
goes for me and my husband, too. Life gets busy and it's easy to forget these
simple things, but they show that we don't take each other for granted. It
teaches our kids that everyone in the family, no matter how small, deserves to
be treated with basic courtesy and appreciation.
No married couple agrees on everything all the time, and we are no exception.
But we have a rule in our house that we can disagree without being
disrespectful. We try our best not to raise our voices, call each other names,
or say things just to be hurtful. This shows our kids that conflict is a normal
part of life, but it can be handled with maturity and love. They are learning
that you can solve problems without tearing the other person down.
I teach our children that God gave fathers a special role to lead, protect, and
provide for the family. Showing respect for their father's position as the head
of our home is something I model and expect from them. When we honor his
leadership, it brings a sense of order and peace that benefits everyone. This
doesn't mean my opinion doesn't matter, we are a team, but we work best when we
respect the structure that keeps our family strong and secure.
Boys to Men, Girls to Women
I absolutely love that my husband and I are different and that we have unique
roles in our family. It's a beautiful thing that shows our children that men and
women were created to complement each other, not to compete with each other. He
brings his masculine strengths, and I bring my feminine strengths, and together
we create a balanced and complete home. Our kids get to see firsthand the
amazing design of a family where both a mother and a father play their special
parts.
We naturally lean into teaching our kids based on our own experiences as a man
and a woman. My husband is wonderful at teaching our son about being a strong
and responsible man, how to work hard, and how to treat ladies with respect. I
get the joy of teaching our daughters about the beauty of being a woman, how to
nurture others, how to manage a home with grace, and the deep satisfaction that
comes from caring for a family. We are each passing down important traditions to
the next generation.
Having different roles isn't about one person being more important than the
other. It’s like fitting two perfect puzzle pieces together to make one
beautiful picture. My husband is strong in areas where I am weak, and I am
strong in areas where he needs support. We are a team, and our differences make
us stronger together. This teaches our children the value of partnership and
that everyone's contribution is essential for the family to thrive.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
I can tell my kids to be kind people all day long, but my words are empty if my
actions don't match. They learn so much more by watching how I actually live my
life. When they see me speak with a gentle tone to my husband, share a smile
with a neighbor, or show patience to the cashier at the grocery store, they are
learning a real-life lesson. Showing kindness in these small, everyday moments
is far more powerful than any lecture I could ever give.
As a mom, I am not perfect and I make plenty of mistakes. I think it is so
important for my kids to see that. When I lose my patience or say something I
regret, I make sure to go to my husband or my children and say, 'I'm sorry.'
This teaches them that it's okay not to be perfect, and that humility is a
strength. They are learning that a sincere apology is a powerful tool for fixing
relationships and making things right again.
Our home is a place filled with warmth and love, and we are not shy about
showing it. Hugs are given out freely, and 'I love you' is said many times a
day. We want our children to grow up in an environment where they feel
completely and totally secure in our love for them and for each other. This open
affection builds a strong emotional foundation, teaching them how to both give
and receive love freely in their own lives.
Building a Legacy of Love
Being a mother with purpose means I am always thinking about the bigger picture.
My job isn't just about getting through today's laundry or homework. I am
actively shaping the adults my children will become one day. Every value I teach
them and every example I set is helping to form the future husbands, wives, and
parents they will be. I am building a legacy of faith and family that will
hopefully last for generations.
When I dream about my children's future, my greatest hope is not that they will
be rich or famous, but that they will build happy, healthy families of their
own. My ultimate goal is that they will take the lessons of love, respect, and
commitment they learned by watching me and my husband and use them as a
blueprint for their own homes. Seeing them create their own strong families will
be my greatest success as a mother.
I used to have a career as a photographer, which I enjoyed, but I can honestly
say that being a wife and a mother is the most important and fulfilling work I
will ever do. It is a calling, not just a job. To be entrusted with raising
these three precious lives, to shape their hearts and their futures, is a
privilege I thank God for every day. I wouldn't trade this life for anything in
the world.