Balancing Family and Ministry in Marriage

Keeping Your Marriage Strong While Serving Others

When my husband and I started getting more involved in ministry, it was exciting! We loved serving our church and community. But pretty soon, we realized we were so busy helping others that we were forgetting about us. It's easy for couples to let their marriage take a backseat when they are balancing family life with serving God. We had to find a way to keep our own relationship strong while juggling our commitments. It wasn't about choosing between family or ministry, but learning how to make both work together. We figured out some simple tips to protect our marriage and still make a difference, making sure our first ministry was always to each other and our kids.

Our First Priority: Guarding Our Marriage

My husband and I learned a very important lesson early in our marriage. We realized that our relationship with each other had to be our number one priority. Our service to our church and community is important, but our marriage is the foundation for our whole life. If that foundation has cracks, everything else we try to build on top of it will eventually crumble. So, we decided that we would always put our marriage first, before any other ministry commitment.

When my husband and I are feeling connected and strong as a couple, serving others feels natural and joyful. Our ministry comes from a place of being full and wanting to share what we have. But when we neglect our relationship, trying to serve others feels like a heavy chore. It causes stress and arguments. A solid marriage creates a peaceful home, and from that peace, we can more effectively love and help other people.

One of the best things we do for our marriage is to make time for just the two of us. Life gets crazy with three kids and all of our activities, but we protect our time together. For us, that means having a date night every single week. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. Sometimes we just go for a walk or sit on the porch after the kids are in bed. The important thing is that we have that time to talk and reconnect without any distractions.

I always have to remind myself that my husband is my partner for life, not just my partner in ministry. God brought us together to build a family and a life together. Our service to others is a part of that life, but it isn't the whole thing. He is the person I share my dreams and my worries with. Focusing on our shared life together keeps our ministry in the right perspective and protects our hearts.

Running Our Home with Purpose

I truly believe that making our house a home is a ministry all by itself. When my husband and children come home, I want them to feel like they are entering a safe and peaceful place. The world outside can be so messy and stressful, so our home should be a refuge. Keeping it orderly and calm is one way I serve my family and honor God. It creates a space where everyone can relax and just be themselves.

To keep our home running smoothly, we have routines and schedules. This might sound boring to some people, but it really helps our family. Having a general plan for our days means less chaos and more peace. We know when it's time for meals, homework, and bedtime. This rhythm helps our children feel secure, and it helps me know what needs to get done. It’s not about being super strict, but about having a gentle flow to our days.

Another thing that really helps is getting the kids involved with chores around the house. My son and two daughters all have small jobs they are responsible for. This teaches them that being part of a family means we all work together as a team. It's not just my job to keep the house clean. It teaches them to be responsible and helps them appreciate the effort it takes to maintain a nice home for everyone.

Saying 'No' So We Can Say 'Yes'

When I was younger, I used to think I had to say 'yes' to every opportunity to help or serve. It was really hard for me to learn that I just can't do everything. I realized that every time I said 'yes' to something outside my home, I was saying 'no' to something with my family. Learning to politely say 'no' has been one of the best things for me. It allows me to save my best 'yes' for my husband and children, who matter most.

Now, my husband and I make decisions about new commitments together. If someone asks one of us to lead a new project or join a committee, we always talk about it first. We look at our family calendar and honestly discuss if we have the time and energy for it. Making these choices as a team keeps us on the same page and prevents one of us from feeling overloaded. We are partners in everything, including how we spend our time.

Please hear me when I say this: it is not selfish to protect your family's time. In fact, I think it is one of the wisest things you can do. God gave you your family as your first and most important ministry. Guarding your evenings and weekends so you can have dinner together or play in the yard is a good thing. It's how you build a strong family, and a strong family is a powerful light in the world.

Including Our Kids in Our Ministry

We think it is so important for our children to see us serving others, but we also want them to be a part of it. Instead of our ministry being something that takes us away from them, we try to find ways to include them. This helps them understand why we do what we do and shows them that helping people is a normal and wonderful part of life. We want them to grow up with generous and caring hearts.

Involving the kids doesn't have to be complicated. It can be as simple as letting them help me bake a meal for a new mom in our church. Sometimes they will draw pictures or make cards to send to older folks who are lonely. When we gather items to donate, they help pick out clothes and toys they have outgrown. These small acts teach them big lessons about loving our neighbors in practical ways.

When our children participate with us, they learn that serving God is a joyful thing we do as a family. It changes their whole view of ministry. It's not 'that thing that makes mom and dad miss my game.' Instead, it becomes a part of our family's identity. Our hope is that they will grow up seeing service as a natural expression of their faith and a source of great happiness.

Finding Rest, Not Quitting

There are definitely times when we just feel worn out. Juggling family, work, and ministry can be tiring, and it's easy to feel like you have nothing left to give. It is so important to pay attention to those feelings and admit when you need a break. We are only human, and we can't pour from an empty cup. Recognizing when we need to slow down and recharge is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.

Taking time to rest is not the same thing as being lazy or quitting. I like to think of it as refueling. Just like a car can't run on an empty tank of gas, we can't serve our families or our communities well when we are running on empty. Taking a quiet evening at home, getting enough sleep, or spending a day just having fun as a family fills our tanks back up. It gives us the energy we need to keep pouring out love to others.

During these tired seasons, my husband and I lean on each other and our faith more than ever. We pray for each other, asking God for strength and wisdom. We remind each other of why we started serving in the first place. Knowing that we are a team and that God is with us gives us the encouragement we need. Our faith is the true source of our strength, and it's what carries us through when we feel like we can't take another step.